And they're off! Obama's 2012 campaign to be run by devious Rahm clone

While most people are worrying about finding a job or paying their taxes in April, Obama is worried about getting reelected. Two years out, the president is already planning his 2012 campaign strategy. The man he's put in charge is someone you've probably never heard of before.

His name is Jim Messina and he's one of the president's most trusted cronies. He's a cross between Rahm Emanuel and Patrick Gaspard. Like Emanuel, Messina is a profane, hard-hitting politico who tolerates no disloyalty or incompetence. He and Rahm are good friends. But like Gaspard, Messina keeps an extremely low profile. He rarely does press interviews and is never seen giving his opinion on cable news. He's known around the White House as one of Barack Obama's "fixers".

One of his sneakiest attempted "fixes" was for Obama's health care reform. Last April, Messina and his former boss Sen. Max Baucus convened a meeting with PhRMA, the lobbying arm of pharmaceutical companies. The doors were shut so no one really knows what went on. But by the end of the gathering, Messina had worked out a deal in which PhRMA would spend $24 million on advertising campaigns in support of reform.

But despite his behind-the-scenes work, Messina goes for the jugulars of his political opponents. In 2005, he was responsible for the Democratic campaign against President Bush's proposed Social Security reform. Messina's main message was that Bush's plan would cut benefits. It was an egregious lie, but it worked and the whole initiative went up in smoke. Today, thanks to Messina, Social Security is slated to go bankrupt in 2037.

Messina will run a dirty campaign in 2012, but he won't be alone. Anita Dunn, former White House communications director and Mao Tse-Tung enthusiast, will reportedly be "intimately involved." So will political director Patrick Gaspard, and all his ACORN and SEIU friends. David Axelrod will be dispatched to Chicago to mastermind the "Reform" campaign (you can't do Change when you're the sitting President) and Valerie Jarrett will head up Special Ops at the White House.