Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Things you won't hear during Obama's State of the Union tonight

Leave it to the Irish.
Paddy Power, an Irish on-line betting service, is offering odds on the length of Obama's speech, the color of his tie, and which political cliche he will utter first.
The favored cliche, at odds of 4-to-1, is "heath care reform." The longshot, 500-to-1, is "always bet on black." (Oddly, the phrase "I won't seek re-election" is a mere 250-to-1.)
In the same spirit as the good people at Paddy Power, here are some of the biggest longshots for tonight's address.
"I admit that my attempt at health care reform was a complete debacle and I take full responsibility."
"I believe the people at ACORN acted stupidly."
"Corruption and radicalism in our government cannot be tolerated. I'll be immediately firing Rahm Emanuel, Valerie Jarrett, John Holdren, Cass Sunstein, Hillary Clinton, Ray LaHood, Lisa Jackson, Carol Browner, Kevin Jennings, Adolfo Carrion Jr., Ron Bloom, Patrick Gaspard, Ezekiel Emanuel, Mark Lloyd, Melanne Verveer, Farah Pandith, and Todd Stern."
"I believe special interest money and influence in Washington is a problem. And let me make it clear: That includes unions. Unions are part of the problem."
"This is in no way President Bush's fault."
"I have read and studied the Founding Fathers closely. I understand that our government is always to be a limited one. I know that our country was conceived in Lockean liberalism, which guarantees every man and woman personal liberty. I trust the American people enough to let them make their own decisions and not to intrude on them with government."
"So how about that special election up in Massachusetts last week, huh?"
"Let us be sure that those who come after will say of us in our time, that in our time we did everything that could be done. We finished the race; we kept them free; we kept the faith. Thank you very much. God bless you, and God bless America."
The last line is from Ronald Reagan's 1984 State of the Union address. Don't hold your breath waiting for that one.

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